Tuesday, December 2, 2014

Please take the time to read another blog - Women. Healing. Violence.

This blog post came to my attention today and I am hoping that you will find it as valuable and compelling as I have.

Please note that this full piece is very powerful and can be triggering for some.  Please read slowly and take breaks if necessary.  

Here are a few excerpts from Is it possible to recover from rape and sexual abuse? Yes and No by Laura S. Kerr PhD on her blog "Women, Healing and Violence."  I hope you will take the time to read the full post at http://womenhealingviolence.wordpress.com/2014/11/23/is-it-possible-to-recover-from-rape-and-sexual-abuse-yes-and-no/

"...the process of healing from sexual violence is slow, painful, and expensive. And because I have worked hard for a peaceful mind and body, I am protective of them. I have a low tolerance of toxic attitudes and behaviors that might upend my recovery. But I am also quick to stand up to injustices that impact others, and I have witnessed this trait in people like myself who are committed to healing their wounds of violence and abuse. Unintentionally, we become warriors of the heart — the would-be Bodhisattvas and protectors of those less fortunate and vulnerable — those we imagine are like we were before we reclaimed our right to dignity and self-preservation, and those we imagine could become victims like we once were."

"After sexual violence, most women want to forget what happened, and return to the lives they led prior to the assault. The survivor desires to be the person she was before, and avoid perceiving herself as irrevocably damaged by the rape or sexual abuse. Confusion, humiliation, and hurt are common, and contribute to self-doubt and silence.
Consequently, women often choose a course of action that will protect them from the imagined judgment of others, including avoiding seeking help. And who can blame us? Throughout history, women have been held responsible for the sexual violence perpetrated against them. Remaining silent just may be an archetypal defense response to the anticipated judgment and shaming that across the millennia have been the common response to sexually violated women (along with forced prostitution, stoning to death, and abandonment)."

Monday, November 24, 2014

Book Review – The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel Van der Kolk, MD, Penguin Group, New York, 2014

I am very excited about this recently published book by Dr. Bessel Van der Kolk.  Initially, I did not think that another book could be placed alongside Judith Herman’s Trauma and Recovery as a “go to” text on the intricacies trauma and its effects.  However, I am now going to refer to The Body Keeps the Score as the new, much needed, reference book for anyone interested in the effects of trauma and the varied ways to address its impact on people’s lives.
Not only is this book full of information but it is also written in a format that makes for interesting and engaging reading.  It is not written like a research paper, although the research is well documented.  I was able to read it for hours at a time, not something I can usually do with research articles.
In The Body Keeps the Score, Dr. Van der Kolk relates the history behind today’s current focus on trauma in veterans and survivors of interpersonal trauma.  He tells stories from his own years working for the Veteran’s Administration and finding that the psychotic episodes that veterans were being diagnosed as having (and for which they were heavily medicated) were actually flashbacks of experiences that had occurred in the jungles of Viet Nam.  This eventually led to post traumatic stress disorder being included in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual when it first arrived in the 1980s.  Dr. Van der Kolk, however, does not tread lightly around the issues surrounding the DSM and its later iterations.  Instead, he is very critical of the process of creating the DSM and its subsequent use by insurance companies, something for which it was never designed. 
Dr. Van der Kolk also describes how after extensive research came out about childhood trauma and its long term impacts he and his colleagues came to the conclusion that a new diagnosis of Development Trauma Disorder needed to included.  This was a request that was denied by the American Psychiatric Association in 2011 even after the results of the Adverse Childhood Experience study were made an integral part of current trauma research.  This has resulted in a loss of research and funding that would assist in addressing the needs of children who have suffered from chronic trauma and continue to be misdiagnosed and heavily medicated in lieu of much needed trauma treatment.
In addition to extensively covering the effects of trauma on children, Dr. Van der Kolk also addresses the controversy surrounding repressed memories and the misguided notions still prevalent in the psychiatric world that repressed memories are not factual.  He provides anecdotal and research based evidence that validates the experiences of people who have regained memories of childhood abuse. 
The most helpful part of this book, and it is really hard to narrow down the best part, is Dr. Van der Kolk’s review of the most helpful trauma therapies.  His devotion to body based modalities is evident and he strong advises against talk therapy as it generates activation/arousal responses that are not helpful until the person is able to trust their body’s responses.  He states that it is through body based modalities that a trauma survivor will eventually gain “self-ownership of their body.”  I am sure that many survivors with whom we work would appreciate knowing that this is a possibility.

I highly encourage anyone who is interested in the field of trauma studies and/or works with survivors of trauma to add this book to their library

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Barriers to Leaving – Looking in the Mirror at Domestic Violence Programs

I have spent a large portion of my career working with domestic violence programs both from within and as a part of the community.  There have been a lot of changes over the years that have increased access to domestic violence programs that have made big differences in the lives of survivors who seek a safe environment in which to focus on the next steps in they want to take in order to be free of abuse.
In the past, many domestic violence programs were guilty of restricting access to survivors who were using drugs or alcohol or who had a mental illness.  I remember talking to one program many years ago that had a policy that a person who had used alcohol or drugs in the past thirty days would not be allowed into shelter until she had thirty days clean and sober.  I informed them that I knew that half their staff would not be able to get into shelter if needed.  Eventually, programs realized that expecting a survivor to get clean and sober who was self- medicating the effects of trauma or living with an abuser who used drugs or alcohol as a means of control was unrealistic and was, as Patti Bland of the National Center on DV, Trauma and Mental Health puts it “actually placing the program in the position of colluding with the abuser.”
Another positive step we have taken is the realization that even though domestic violence programs are not (and should never be) clinical programs, we can provide support services to survivors who are experiencing effects of trauma that have often been seen as mental health issues.  Programs no longer ask about medications as a means of determining if a person has a mental health issue and then using that as an excuse to screen someone out of shelter.  It can’t be done and, fortunately, is not being done. 
However, I feel that some programs, after all of these positive changes, forget that we still need to be diligent in looking at the things that may still be happening that set up barriers and decrease the probability that a survivor will seek services from a domestic violence program.  Programs are often so overwhelmed by the ongoing failures and barriers within their community and society that they become complacent and forget to focus on the barriers that may be generated by the domestic violence program.  Here are a few areas that need to be considered in order to truly reduce barriers and provide victim-center services:
Comprehensive Safety Planning vs. Refusing to House Survivors Who Live in the Same Town/City as the Shelter:  Whenever a program says that they cannot house a survivor and her children because she and her abuser live in the same town as the shelter they are setting up a barrier.  The program is forcing a victim to choose between her job/home and her and her children’s local support and safety.  We are saying that in order to receive services she needs to give up even more than she already has to at the hands of the abuser.  Solutions to this issue would be to investigate the “open shelter” concept in which the community is well aware of the location of the shelter, thus encouraging neighbors to report suspicious activity, and making safety planning a high priority in order to be able to assist the survivor in being able to access local resources and maintain employment while still living in the same community as her abuser.  This will reduce transportation issues for court and visitation also.  Yes, there are times when a victim needs to leave the area for her safety, but this should be her choice.
Case Management vs. Support Services:  I am concerned about the concept of “case management.”  As the executive director of a community mental health program I once worked for said “people are not ‘cases’ to be managed.  They are to be supported.”  If we start looking at victims as cases we are in danger of limiting the services we provide to a menu rather than taking a victim-centered approach to supporting the person in the decisions she makes for her future.  We are also in danger of moving to a more clinical approach that looks at symptoms and issues rather than coping skills, victim needs, and systems of oppression and barriers in the community.
Modeling DV Programs’ Services After Homeless Programs:  When we start to provide services in the manner of homeless services we are in danger of forgetting about the issues of domestic violence and trauma.  I have seen program staff become too eager to move the survivor to housing while not addressing the issues of domestic violence and trauma.  Programs need to go back to their mission statement and review the primary purpose of the organization.
The best way to look at services in a program and determine whether or not the services are a barrier to survivors seeking safety is for staff to put themselves in the shoes of the victim.  We often do an exercise called “In Her Shoes” to point out the barriers and difficulties in the community, but we also need to do the same for our programs.  Ask yourself, “If I was a woman in danger, would this program meet my needs for safety, connection, and stability?”

Friday, October 24, 2014

Book Review and Recommendation– Domestic Violence Advocacy: Complex Lives/Difficult Choices 2nd Edition by Jill M. Davies and Eleanor Lyon

I would like to start this post off by saying that this book should be a part of every domestic violence advocacy agency’s library.  Written by Attorney Jill Davies, deputy director of Greater Hartford Legal Aid, Inc.  with over thirty years of working on behalf of family violence victims, and Eleanor Lyon, PhD., former director of the Institute for Violence Prevention and Reduction and consultant with the National Resource Center on DV, Trauma and Mental Health and Futures Without Violence, this book is a comprehensive study and manual for working with survivors of intimate partner violence. 
The basis of the book is to define and encourage the use of victim-defined advocacy.  Victim-defined advocacy broadens advocacy to partnering with the survivor in order to use the victim’s knowledge and perspective in order to make the victim safer.  It includes “learning about her risk analysis and life circumstances, along with her priorities, past and current safety plans and relationship decisions” and building a partnership to review the risks and identify options relevant to her priorities and the dangers she faces.  It is a dynamic and interactive process. 
In addition to the discussion of victim-defined advocacy (which includes stories of survivors and how advocates work with them) the book also provides material on children exposed to domestic violence and working with women with trauma, mental health and substance abuse issues to understand their perspectives and developing safety plans that encompass those issues.  The last section of the book is focused on systems advocacy.
One of the most valuable components of the book for me was a discussion of life generated risks and the batterer’s manipulation of those risks to coerce the partner into staying in the relationship.  It helps move the question from “why doesn’t she just leave?” to “what keeps her from leaving?”  For example, poverty and financial limitations (i.e. limited transportation, limited job opportunities, and limited housing options) are often reinforced by the batterer as a means of control and manipulation.  I am currently using this material in trainings and find it to be valuable in generating discussion.

Monday, September 22, 2014

Helping Survivors with Traumatic Brain Injury

Working with survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault can sometimes be overwhelming when we realize all of the issues with which a victim may have to deal.  There are the immediate safety issues, the long term custody and financial issues, housing, parenting, trauma issues and the possibility of substance abuse and mental health issues related to trauma, and the ongoing systemic issues of oppression and lack of resources.  Amidst all of this we have learned to recognize when the impact of trauma may be affecting the person’s ability to move forward and we have found ways to empower someone to make changes even in the face of these effects.  However, often, because there is already so much, we forget the possibility that the survivor we are working with may be dealing with the effects of a minor or major traumatic brain injury.
The following information is gleaned from various resources that I will include at the end. 
The head and face are among the most common targets of intimate partner assaults, and victims of domestic violence often suffer head, neck and facial injuries. Common forms of physical assault that can cause a brain injury include:
• Forcefully hitting partner on the head with an object.
• Smashing her head against a wall.
• Pushing her downstairs.

• Shooting or stabbing her in the head.
• Shaking her – which moves her brain in a whip-lash motion, smashing it against her skull.
• Obstructing her airway, causing loss of oxygen to her brain, through:
o Strangling her. (She will likely call it “choking.”)
o Trying to drown her.
o Forcing her to use drugs or eat foods to which she is allergic.
Because batterers seldom assault their partners only once, some victims suffer repeated head injuries.
One study of women in three domestic violence shelters found that:
• 92% had been hit in the head by their partners, most more than once.
• 83% had been both hit in the head and severely shaken.
• 8% of them had been hit in the head over 20 times in the past year.
• The more times individuals had been hit in the head or shaken, the more severe, and the more
frequent, were their symptoms. 

What is Traumatic Brain Injury?
Traumatic brain injury (TBI) is an injury to the brain that is caused by external physical force.
·       Penetrating injuries are caused when a foreign object (such as a bullet, knife, or blunt object) pierces the skull. This type of injury causes focal damage, limited to the specific parts of the brain that lie along the path that the object travels.
·       Closed head injuries occur from blows to the head that do not fracture the skull, or from severe shaking. They can cause both localized damage and diffuse or widespread damage, due to bleeding, and to stretching, tearing and swelling of brain tissue – which can continue to damage the brain for hours or days after they originally occur. A DV victim can suffer a closed head injury when her partner hits her on the head with an object, smashes her head against a wall, pushes her downstairs or violently shakes her.
·       Cutting off oxygen, as happens in strangulation, also injures the brain.
A victim of domestic violence may suffer a TBI without knowing it if she had no severe trauma or obvious symptoms at first, or if she did not lose consciousness, or received no medical care.
NOTE: While a TBI can lead to aggressive behavior, it does not cause or excuse the targeted pattern of coercive control usually seen in DV. If a woman thinks her partner is violent because he has suffered a TBI, she might want to try and get an evaluation for him, but she should also be helped to plan for safety.
Brain injury can make it harder for a victim of domestic violence to:
·       Assess danger and defend herself against assaults.
·       Make and remember safety plans.
·       Go to school or hold a job (increasing her financial dependency on the abuser).
·       Leave her abusive partner and live on her own.
·       Access services.
·       Adapt to living in a shelter. She may become stressed, anxious and confused or disruptive, or have trouble understanding or remembering shelter rules and procedures.
·       Retain custody of her children.
Domestic violence service providers. Screen everyone who seeks DV services for TBI. A brief screening tool that was designed to be used by professionals who are not TBI experts is the HELPS.2
HELPS is an acronym for the most important questions to ask:
H = Were you hit in the head? 
E = Did you seek emergency room treatment? 
L = Did you lose consciousness? (Not everyone who suffers a TBI loses consciousness.) 
P = Are you having problems with concentration and memory? 
S = Did you experience sickness or other physical problems following the injury?

If you suspect a victim has a brain injury, or she answers “yes” to any of these questions, help her get an evaluation by a medical or neuropsychological professional – especially if she has suffered repeated brain injuries, which may decrease her ability to recover and increase her risk of death. If she wishes, reach out to the TBI service provider with information about DV, what support she needs, and what services are available to her. Look for ways to work together.

The National Brain Injury Association has links to the TBI associations in each state:  http://www.biausa.org/
Other resources:

Monday, August 18, 2014

Reflecting on Who We Are and How It Impacts Survivors

When providing trauma- informed services to survivors of domestic and sexual violence it important we ensure that we are doing whatever we can to keep from re-victimizing the survivor or engaging in behaviors that may be reminiscent of past abuse.  Through actively engaging in a reflective practice on our own and during supervision we may be able to recognize those conditions within ourselves that get in the way of being able to provide safe, empathetic, and empowering assistance.
We often talk about the experiences of survivors in a way that takes into account the trauma in their lives.  We ask “how do the effects of trauma get in the way or impact the person’s ability to be able to move forward?”  This practice of reflecting on the experience of the survivor can move an advocate from focusing on what is “wrong” with a person to recognizing the impact of trauma and finding ways to reduce the impact and/or engaging with the person in a way that empowers them to be able to move beyond the trauma.
Terri Pease, Ph.D., of the National Center on Domestic Violence, Trauma and Mental Health talks about reflective practice.  She quotes Jeree Pawl, past board president of Zero to Three, to remind us that “who we are is as important as what we do” in our relationships with survivors.  She stresses the importance of reflecting on the impact that survivors have on our lives and the history that we bring into our relationships with them. 
I am often called to provide insight into the actions of a woman in shelter or a woman who is seeking services from a court advocate.  The advocate wants me to explain what is happening with the woman from a trauma-informed standpoint and help her find something different to do to help.  Another step I like to take, though, is to ask “how is this interaction affecting you?”  In other words, can you take a moment to reflect on what may be coming up for you as you work with this survivor?  Many times the challenges of working with survivors can stir up some emotions that we may find difficult to keep from being reflected in our actions.
If the victim is particularly challenging and expresses herself with anger, an advocate may find that she resists working with the victim.  The victim may be engaging in some survival skills that are often labeled as lying, manipulating or attention seeking.  If an advocate can take a few moments on her own or in supervision to reflect on what this is bringing up for the advocate, then it may help to improve the relationship with the survivor.  For example, I know that due to my own past I have difficulty when I am in the presence of extreme anger that feels like it may be directed toward me.  Over the years I have learned to recognize when my own history is starting to blur my interactions and I, hopefully, am able to breathe my way through and not take the survivor’s anger personally.  Additionally, many advocates, including myself, feel helpless when they are unable to meet all the needs of the survivors.  This may feel like frustration with the survivor and it will be reflected in our interactions with her unless we realize that our helplessness has to do with the greater picture and our own fear of not being able to do enough. 
Advocates, in the face of tapped out services within their communities, often feel overwhelmed by the needs of the survivors and feel if they cannot meet them all then they are not good advocates.  Yes, it is hard when the needed services are not available, but we cannot do it all.  We do all that we can and at the end of the day we need to be able to take care of ourselves so that we don’t burn out and become frustrated with the women who are reaching out to us.  An awareness of who we are and what we bring to our work is critical to being able to sustain our relationships with survivors and to being able to be trauma-responsive.    

Painting by Richard Edward Miller

Monday, August 4, 2014

Take a Breath

I was reading a book about trekking through the Himalayas last week.  As part of my self-care I like to make sure that I read things that don’t pertain to anything I do as part of my work life.  However, there were a few paragraphs that jumped out as me as being very important for advocates and survivors. 
The writer was describing how difficult it is to hike at high altitudes.  The oxygen is thin at those altitudes and the effort of climbing over rocks with a heavy backpack can make one feel that she just won’t be able to make it to the next hospitality stop.  The views can also take one’s breath away.  The writer went on to describe a trick that high altitude trekkers use when the going gets tough.  They breathe.  They take ten steps and stop to take ten very deep breaths and then take ten more steps and repeat.  It may feel like slow going but at the end of the day the goal is reached.
I tried it out.  I was biking in unfamiliar territory one day.  I had mapped the route ahead of time but had not paid attention to the fact that there was a half mile stretch that was uphill on a gravel road.  I decided I would need to walk it.  Normally I would force myself to just trudge up the hill and stop when I was out of breath and probably in pain.  I would be red-faced, sweating, and gasping for air.  However, on that day I decided to try the breathing technique they use in the Himalayas.  It was just a New Hampshire hill and not K2 so I modified the technique a little.  I counted fifty steps and then stopped to take ten deep cleansing breaths whether I felt I needed the or not.  I found that not only did I make it to the top of the hill without gasping for air but that I felt pretty good when it was all done.  At the time I was stopping to breath I thought it was just slowing me down, but then I realized that by taking the time to stop and breath I was less likely to need a longer rest period once I reached the top. 
I talked to two different groups of advocates last week and I asked them why they felt they couldn’t do self-care.  The number one reason was “I don’t have time.”  Many felt that they were too exhausted at the end of the day to do anything and some felt that it would be selfish to take time away from family members in order to take care of themselves. 
Advocates often feel like they are trying to climb mountains.  There are obstacles and demands on energy that can make one feel like she will never reach the goal.  When we are under stress we actually do not breathe as well.  Our breaths can become shallow and we take in less oxygen, causing us to tire more quickly and lose the ability to focus.   If mindful  breathing can be a part of your  day it may help to dispel some of the exhaustion that can go along with doing this work.  Take a breath before you pick up the phone.  Take a few breaths before you open a door, as you shift between tasks, or before you get out of your car.  Find some way to remind yourself to do so.  There are plenty of apps on the market or there is even a bracelet you can buy that vibrates to remind you to take a moment to breath.  This blogger has a number of techniques she uses to remind herself to take a break:  http://healingwhole.blogspot.com/2011/05/take-break-create-mindfulness-reminders.html

Remember, though, self care is as important to being able to do your job as it is to have nice clothes to wear to court or have gas in your car to get there.  Find ways to incorporate it into your day or you may find yourself clinging to the side of the mountain.  

The pictures in this post were taken in Tibet in 2007.  Mount Everest is over my left shoulder in the above picture.