The term “empowerment model” has long been the term used to
describe how advocates work with domestic violence survivors. It is the understanding that only the victim/survivor can be the expert
on their life. Advocates provide information, support, resources and education
so that victims can make the best choices possible to become safe and self-reliant. We strongly believe that empowerment is not
something we give to the survivor.
Instead, it is something that is intrinsic to the survivor and it is our
task to help the person find and expand their personal power.
When a woman
comes to a crisis center for assistance in changing her life, she is often
unaware that she has any power at all in her life. Through the use of power and control, the
abuser has diminished her belief in herself and her capacity for growth.
If we truly
believe that empowerment is something that exists within each person, what then
is the role of the advocate? In the same
way that a sapling has the capacity within to become a full grown tree, a
survivor contains the capacity to be a strong woman. However, without proper nourishment and
support, that sapling may struggle and be less protected from the
elements. The job of the advocate is to
provide the support, resources and education to encourage the growth of the
individual into a woman who has power and control over her life.
Support takes
different forms during the progression from being under the power and control
of the abuser to being in control of one’s own life. When we plant a seedling, we may provide ground
stakes and support lines to help the tree stand tall until its root system has
expanded deep into the soil and taken hold.
Later, we slowly loosen that support as the tree is ready to stand on
its own. Too often we worry about
disempowering a woman and remove the support too early or we smother her for
fear that she may make a decision that will harm her or her children.
In many ways, our
definition of success has changed over the years. The definition of success has increasingly
been defined by funders so that we are mandated to worry more about moving a
person along quickly to find transitional or permanent housing, a job, etc.,
rather than focusing on Judith Herman’s (see Trauma and Recovery) first stage
of recovery from trauma – safety and stabilization. This is not to say that housing and
employment are not valuable and necessary.
However, we tend to lose focus on the need to allow time for the person
to feel safe and stable enough to be able to reduce her trauma responses and
make informed rational decisions rather than emotional reactive decisions.
Because of the
need to provide good outcomes to funders or other interested parties (or for
other reasons), we may find ourselves looking at a person who is seeking
shelter or other supports and asking “will this person be successful in our
program?” The question we should be asking
is “do we have what this person needs to be successful and, if not, can we find
the resources to provide it?” Even if
the resources the person may seem to need (i.e. mental health, substance abuse,
housing, etc.) are not initially available, are we able to provide the support
the person needs in order to feel safe and stable? Assumptions made at the
start of a person’s contact with a program about her capacity for success can
be self-fulfilling prophecies. Which
outcome would you rather assume?
It also becomes
imperative that we take a look at our definition of success. If success means a linear progression from
abuse to safety to independence, we may be setting ourselves up for perceived failure. Understanding that success may be more of a
process of small successes and setbacks rather than a straight shot to a successful
event can lessen the pressure we place on a trauma survivor and reduce our own
burn out and compassion fatigue.
When I was first
working as a shelter director back in the mid 90’s there was a woman, Bonnie,
in the program who had come to us seeking shelter and an opportunity to engage
in substance abuse services. She was 43
years old and had been drinking steadily since the age of 13 and had been
victimized as a child and an adult. She
stayed in the shelter for three months and then left on her own. At first I felt that not only had she failed
at maintaining her sobriety and safety, but that we had failed her. Fortunately, my mentor at that time reminded
me that we had given Bonnie three months of safety, sobriety and community that
she had never experienced before. It was
not the success I was hoping for, but it was a success none-the-less. Many people would have looked at Bonnie’s
history and judged her as being at risk of failing the program. However, Bonnie left the program with more
information than she had when she came in.
She also knew she could return at any time.
Trauma survivors are also very tuned into our attitudes and
expectations. If a trauma survivors senses
that we are unable to see them as individuals capable of success, they will
meet those expectations or fight against them. It is important that we find
ways to take care of ourselves and challenge our own assumptions about people
so that we can reflect an attitude of support and an expectation of success
that supports rather than questions a survivor’s abilities.
