Friday, January 24, 2014

Looking at Learned Helplessness through a Trauma Lens

Over the past forty years there have been a number of theories about why a woman stays in an abusive relationship.  In some cases, these can be reduced to victim blaming, putting the total responsibility for the abuse on the victim.  Even explanations that make sense can end up being used in a way that demean, blame, or place the victim in a passive role that seems to be of her own making.  One of these is Lenore Walkers’ theory of “learned helplessness.” In the 1970's, before we were able to learn about the effects of trauma on the brain and body,  Lenore Walker, a psychologist in the United States, studied the behavior of women who stay in violent relationships, and hypothesized that women stay in abusive relationships because constant abuse strips them of the will to leave.  This theory, while helpful in helping some juries understand why a woman may not leave a relationship, does not take into account that there are many social, economic and cultural reasons a woman may stay.  Learned helplessness has also over the years become a term that pathologizes victims’ responses to violence, leaving some to believe that there is something wrong with the victim versus placing the blame on the abuser. 
As Dobash and Dobash explain, “[w]omen are usually persistent and often tenacious in their attempts to seek help, but pursue such help through channels that prove to be most useful and reject those that have been found to be unhelpful or condemning.” Battered women do not live their lives in a state of “learned helplessness.” On the contrary, they often engage in a process of “staying, leaving and returning.” During this process,
women make active and conscious decisions based on their changing circumstances: they leave for short periods in order to escape the violence and to emphasize their disaffection in the hope that this will stop the violence. In the beginning, they are generally not attempting to end the relationship, but are negotiating to reestablish the relationship on a non-violent basis. From R. Emerson Dobash & Russel P. Dobash, Women, Violence and Social Change 222-23, 225, 229-32 (1992).
Learned helplessness theory was based on perceived characteristics shared by battered women, such as low self esteem, a tendency to withdraw, or perceptions of loss of control. Those who espoused the theory, however, rarely took into account the fact that these characteristics” might be, in fact, the physiological effects of the abuse on the brain of the survivors. 
In the article Trauma Theory Abbreviated, Sandra Bloom quotes behaviorist Martin Seligman’s research on learned helplessness in animals to describe the physiological changes in the brain.  “Apparently, there are detrimental changes in the basic neurochemistry that allows the animal to self-motivate out of dangerous situation.  Change only occurs when the experimenter actively intervenes and pulls the animal out of the cage.  At first, the animal runs back in, but after sufficient trials, it finally catches on and learns how to escape from the terror once again.  The animals’ behavior improves significantly, but they remain vulnerable to the stress.  As in human experience, animals show individual variation in their responses.  Some animals are very resistant to developing ‘learned helplessness’ and others are very vulnerable.”  
To understand what happens after a traumatic event we must begin with the “fight-or-flight” response that characterizes the way human beings and other mammals respond to overwhelming stress. The ability of the brain to process information in this state changes dramatically from its normal state, just as the body’s response is remarkable and dramatic. The brain is profoundly affected by the powerful neurochemicals that flood the body as a part of the normal stress response. In this state, the ability to encode experience in words often becomes compromised and instead, stress is experienced as strong emotional reactions, body sensations, and images. In such a state, the person is geared toward action, not thought and in fact, there is a decreased ability to think clearly. http://www.sanctuaryweb.com/psychobiology.php
Looking at the neurobiology of the trauma may also lead to pathologizing a person’s responses but there is one clear factor that must be taken into account – the presence of an abuser who created the environment, maintains the power, and benefits from the helplessness of the victim.   The realization of this returns us to the main premise of being trauma responsive – “it is not that there is something wrong with the victim, it is that something was done to her/him” that has caused that behaviors or adaptations that we, as advocates, may see impeding a person’s process of change.  Our own responses can, at times, perpetuate feelings of helplessness in survivors.  Lack of housing, daycare, and other supportive services can also lead to feelings of helplessness.  According to Dr. Bloom, “we know that people can learn to be helpless too, that if a person is subjected to a sufficient number of experiences teaching him or her that nothing they do will effect the outcome, people give up trying.  This means that interventions designed to help people overcome traumatizing experiences must focus on mastery and empowerment while avoiding further experiences of helplessness.”




Wednesday, January 8, 2014

She must not be in danger if . . . . . .

As advocates for victims of domestic violence we are very aware of the reasons that a woman stays in a relationship and we often talk about the reasons she may return to a relationship.  However, sometimes I hear of advocates having expectations of victims that do not take into consideration the amount of trauma she has experienced and the ambivalence she may have about leaving the relationship.  Let’s look at the following scenario:

Cathy calls a domestic violence hotline and states she wants to leave her home because she is fearful for herself and her children.  She has recently talked to friends or family and they are afraid for her and have encouraged her to call the hotline or a police officer gave her the local hotline number.  After going through the assessment to determine if she meets criteria to enter the shelter she is told that there is space available and the advocate starts to make arrangements to have Cathy and her children come into the shelter.  At this point, Cathy asks the advocate if she can come in two days later and gives various reasons as to why she needs to wait another two days even though she has stated she is fearful of her partner.  These reasons could include doctors’ appointments, needing to make arrangements for pet care, packing, child care, or wanting to wait until the children are out of school on Friday. 

Putting aside the issue regarding space in shelter (not wanting to hold a space for someone for two days when someone else may need it) let’s take a look at how an advocate who is not trauma-responsive may think versus a trauma-responsive approach to helping Cathy.

If she doesn’t take into consideration the trauma that Cathy has experienced the advocate may wonder if Cathy is in as much danger as she says she is and think that Cathy may be trying to manipulate the advocate.  The advocate may not say what she is thinking to Cathy, but it may come across in her tone or actions when working out the details for admission to the shelter.  The advocate may be in danger of minimizing the harm that Cathy may be facing.

A trauma responsive advocate is able to step back and take a look at how the effects of trauma may be impacting Cathy’s decision to enter shelter and be able to work with her on a plan to help her get to shelter safely.  Deciding to make a call for shelter is a part of a process that may not necessarily culminate in leaving the abuser.  Cathy could be ambivalent about leaving her very dangerous situation for a number of reasons including fear (can I really do this and be safe?), not ready to believe that the relationship may be over, worry about what family and friends may think, and uncertainty about what shelter living may mean for her and the children.

If there has been a recent violence episode she may still be in shock and finding it difficult to make decisions and put one foot in front of the other.  Cathy may also be experiencing the long term effects of trauma that have affected her ability to focus.  Her abuser may have made threats of what he would do if she left and she suddenly remembers them, or she may believe what he has told her about her inability to live without him. 
Living with an abuser is scary AND leaving an abuser is scary.  In other words, she may feel that what is familiar and scary is actually more comfortable that what is unknown and scary.

Moving from understanding this to being trauma-responsive is the next step.  When someone says she cannot come in for a couple of days first take the time to have a conversation about safety and be willing to work on a plan for how she can be safe in the meantime and leave safely when she is ready; and, second, explore the ambivalence with her by saying the following (in your own words):

“This is a big step to take and can feel just as scary as staying.  Is there anything else you need to know about our shelter so that you can feel more comfortable?”
“This is your decision to make and it is a hard one.  Sometimes a woman will come into shelter for a few days and then make the decision to go someplace else.  That is okay.  We are here for you whether you are in shelter or not.”
“Is there any way we can help you with all those things you need to do after you come into shelter?”
“If you decide not to come into shelter we are still here if you want to come in and talk to someone about what is going on and maybe look at other options.  We are not just a shelter.  We also do many other things.”

Trauma’s impact is different for each individual and there is always an impact.  Not everyone will react as we would or in way with which we may be familiar.  Our job as advocates is to believe the victim and if there is any doubt it is still best to err on her side than to possibly make the mistake of not granting shelter to someone in dire need of safe place to be.