Understanding trauma and its impact on survivors of domestic
violence and sexual assault is not only a theoretical approach but has become
an important component of the way we work.
When looking at our work through the trauma lens it is critical that we
look both ways.
A lot of work has been done on understanding the impact of
trauma on the survivor. We know that
trauma is going to affect her willingness to reach out and engage when trust
has been broken on many levels. We also
have become aware of how concentration and focus can be negatively impacted,
reducing her ability to make productive decisions and use resources
effectively. Trauma responses may make
it difficult for her to follow-through with appointments or she may avoid
circumstances that trigger her or make her feel disempowered.
It is also important to look through the trauma lens at
ourselves and understand how trauma impacts the way that we do our work. If we are unaware of our own responses to
trauma, our own personal experiences and our responses to others’ trauma, we
may find ourselves being less than who we wish to be in our interactions with survivors. Being judgmental and critical of the choices
of others, distancing ourselves, or trying to fix rather than support may be
signs that we are not managing our own feelings that have arisen due to the
impact of trauma.
As advocates, we have to work with staying present and
supportive of survivors even when we feel uncomfortable with their way of being
in the world. It may also be necessary
to step back at times to self-reflect on what we bring to the
relationship. Even though we are
encouraged to maintain boundaries in our work with survivors, we are also
developing a relationship with a survivor that can either help or hinder their
healing process. The following questions
from Carole Warshaw at the National Center on Domestic Violence, Trauma and
Mental Health can be used in supervision or as a self-tool in order to stretch
ourselves and engage more fully in our relationship with the survivor.
What is particularly challenging for you about this person
or interaction? i.e. she never shows up,
she is sarcastic, she may be lying to me, I don’t like the way she makes me
feel.
What are you aware of feeling? I get angry, I try to avoid
contact with her, I find I want to take her and her child home with me, I feel
manipulated, and I am overwhelmed
What are you feeling underneath? i.e. I feel incompetent, I am not a good advocate, I don’t like being
angry, I feel special, I feel like I am being set up
What do you think she might be feeling? Is she trying to protect herself? Is she being triggered? Are there
feelings coming up in our interactions that she is having trouble tolerating?
What do you find yourself wanting to say? What is
that inner voice saying that you would not want to hear yourself say aloud?
What could you say that might be more helpful? What
would be more a more empathic or empowering, trauma-responsive approach?
What if this is not signed up for? This may mean that you need more self-care and supervision in order to
determine what steps you need to take for yourself.
Taking a look at ourselves through the trauma lens may be
difficult at first, but can lead to more meaningful interactions with survivors
and others in our lives.
