Looking Through the Trauma Lens with Self- Reflection

Understanding trauma and its impact on survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault is not only a theoretical approach but has become an important component of the way we work.  When looking at our work through the trauma lens it is critical that we look both ways.

A lot of work has been done on understanding the impact of trauma on the survivor.  We know that trauma is going to affect her willingness to reach out and engage when trust has been broken on many levels.  We also have become aware of how concentration and focus can be negatively impacted, reducing her ability to make productive decisions and use resources effectively.  Trauma responses may make it difficult for her to follow-through with appointments or she may avoid circumstances that trigger her or make her feel disempowered.  

It is also important to look through the trauma lens at ourselves and understand how trauma impacts the way that we do our work.  If we are unaware of our own responses to trauma, our own personal experiences and our responses to others’ trauma, we may find ourselves being less than who we wish to be in our interactions with survivors.  Being judgmental and critical of the choices of others, distancing ourselves, or trying to fix rather than support may be signs that we are not managing our own feelings that have arisen due to the impact of trauma. 

As advocates, we have to work with staying present and supportive of survivors even when we feel uncomfortable with their way of being in the world.  It may also be necessary to step back at times to self-reflect on what we bring to the relationship.  Even though we are encouraged to maintain boundaries in our work with survivors, we are also developing a relationship with a survivor that can either help or hinder their healing process.  The following questions from Carole Warshaw at the National Center on Domestic Violence, Trauma and Mental Health can be used in supervision or as a self-tool in order to stretch ourselves and engage more fully in our relationship with the survivor. 

What is particularly challenging for you about this person or interaction? i.e. she never shows up, she is sarcastic, she may be lying to me, I don’t like the way she makes me feel.

What are you aware of feeling?  I get angry, I try to avoid contact with her, I find I want to take her and her child home with me, I feel manipulated, and I am overwhelmed

What are you feeling underneath? i.e. I feel incompetent, I am not a good advocate, I don’t like being angry, I feel special, I feel like I am being set up

What do you think she might be feeling? Is she trying to protect herself? Is she being triggered? Are there feelings coming up in our interactions that she is having trouble tolerating?

What do you find yourself wanting to say?  What is that inner voice saying that you would not want to hear yourself say aloud?

What could you say that might be more helpful?  What would be more a more empathic or empowering, trauma-responsive approach? 

What if this is not signed up for? This may mean that you need more self-care and supervision in order to determine what steps you need to take for yourself.

Taking a look at ourselves through the trauma lens may be difficult at first, but can lead to more meaningful interactions with survivors and others in our lives.