Teens, Trauma and Relationships

Adolescence is a scary period but even more so for teens who are trauma survivors.    Trauma can make it difficult to parse out what could be normal adolescent development, with all the angst and struggles to separate and mature, versus what impact the history of trauma may be having on the teen.  However, I am going to try and provide some insight into what may be going on and how it impacts teens’ ability to develop healthy relationships. 

Development

In his recent book, Brainstorm: the power and purpose of the teenage brain, Dr. Daniel Siegel describes the overall movement of the teen’s brain to becoming more integrated.  Integration means that more areas of the brain are becoming specialized and interconnected to one another in more effective ways.  This specialization takes place through a process of pruning.  Pruning is the remodeling of the brain, letting go of connections in the brain that are not needed or haven’t been used.  From a trauma perspective, this means that neural pathways that have been strengthened to manage safety or that have been developed as a response to trauma will remain while other pathways that have been ignored due to trauma will be pruned away. 

Dr. Siegel explains that if there is any vulnerability in the brain’s makeup during childhood, adolescence can reveal those brain differences because of the pruning down of the existing but insufficient number of neurons and their connections.  The impact of adverse childhood experiences such as abuse and neglect may become more noticeable because the pruning is unmasking the vulnerabilities that have been lying being the surface.  This also is why major psychiatric disorders (which may be responses to trauma) may express themselves for the first time in adolescence.

Trauma Responses

When the flight, fight or freeze responses engage in adolescents it can lead to long term difficulties.  The fight response is a teen’s struggle to gain or hold onto power, especially when they feel they are being coerced.  The flight response can be seen when a teen disengages, runs away and/or checks out emotionally. The freeze response occurs when a youth gives into those in positions of power and does not or is unable to speak up (Adolescent Health Working Group, 2013, www.ahwg.net).

Teens living in households with ongoing abuse and neglect have probably not been able to learn effective ways to manage their outward emotions and their internal responses.  They may blame themselves for the abuse and feel ashamed about what they have experienced.  They may engage in behaviors to manage their trauma responses in unhealthful and dangerous ways such as with alcohol and drug abuse, self-harm, unhealthy relationships, isolation, and high-risk actions.

Their school performance may be impacted by either under-performing, conflict with school personnel, or skipping classes.  The ability to complete tasks or understand school work can be greatly affected by learning disabilities or impairments that cannot be explained by anything other than the impact of witnessing or experiencing trauma.  Being unable to relate to peers and not feeling able to perform adequately in a school environment can lead to feels of shame and isolation.

Impact on Relationships

As you can well imagine, the above trauma responses would influence relationships that a teen may have during adolescence. There may be ongoing conflict with family members or detachment and isolation in order to avoid more conflict.   They may isolate from their peers because of the shame and guilt they feel about their circumstances and also affiliate with persons who reinforce the bad feelings they have about themselves and/or who are also engaging alcohol/drug use and other risky behaviors in order to validate their own sense of loss, shame and isolation.  Relationships may be modeled after what they have seen in their lives and lead to further abuse.

Interventions

The good news is that strong sustained attachments to safe and nurturing adults and peers can improve a teen’s life.  Within these relationships an adolescent can learn the skills necessary for identifying, expressing, and modulating feelings that arise when he/she is triggered or trying to manage the developmental tasks common to this age group having to do with identity and roles in society.  In addition, teens need to feel competent and be able to plan for and have feelings of control about the future.  Engaging in positive activities that help them discover and nurture latent talents can help increase resiliency and lead to a healthy adulthood.

For more information go to :  http://www.ahwg.net/