Surviving the Holidays

The holidays are often a difficult time for trauma survivors. Family activities, while joyous times for some people, are often difficult reminders of the past and can cause distress. For some survivors, the holidays are anniversaries of traumatic experiences. For other survivors, it may mean being in the presence of the sexual perpetrator or the abuser.

Survivors may not always be aware of how they are being triggered or may feel guilt and shame for not being able to rise to the same level of excitement and anticipation that others feel during this period. Even if they seem to have recovered well from past trauma, they may begin to have more problems with sleeping, over or under eating, increased anxiety, and a sense of impending disaster.

Here are some tips to help survivors manage stress during this time:

1. Have an exit strategy. Some survivors are able to say “no” when expected to attend family gatherings where a perpetrator may be present. A sense of obligation to other family members may make it difficult to stay away. If someone is planning to attend a family gathering where a perpetrator is present, it is good to limit the amount of time spent in the situation. Arriving late, having one’s own form of transportation, having an agreement with another family member to assist in maintaining distance are all possibilities.

2. Good self care. With all the stress of the holiday season, immune systems become compromised. Illness and fatigue can increase susceptibility to triggers and make it more difficult to manage reactions and heightened emotional vulnerability. High intakes of sugar through this time can also reduce the ability to combat infection, increasing vulnerability. Any activities that increase a sense of well being such as support groups, mindfulness activities, exercise, and creative projects can help fight off depression.

3. Support. Isolation is often a strategy for managing this time of year that can end up being very unproductive. Existing support groups or informal support of understanding friends may help alleviate some of the loneliness that occurs during the holidays.

4.  Limit alcohol intake.  Alcohol is a depressant and can also affect the immune system.  It also decreases inhibitions and affect sleep patterns which can then lead to increased vulnerability to the effects of trauma or additional trauma. 

Moderation in consumption of food, alcohol, and activity can be a very valuable for surviving the holidays.

Please feel free to add any other ideas you may have in the comment section below.